I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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