My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
