My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
