Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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