So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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