Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
