Me too!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
