OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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