if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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