hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
