You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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