And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
