You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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