So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
