i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
