You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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