So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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