my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
