i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How's work?
Spinning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
