Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
