How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize