i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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