he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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