Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
