I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize