I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize