Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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