ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
