It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
