the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
