Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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