i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
