Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
