Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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