1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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