Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
