Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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