Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
