how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
