I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I cannot find my penis.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
