Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
