...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I didn't shave. On purpose
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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