she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
