This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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