We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
