O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
