Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
