My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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