and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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