grandma shit on top of the toilet
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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