just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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