Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
