you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
