JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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