So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
