god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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