yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
