she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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