I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
