i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
