We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
