yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
