Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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