Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
