Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
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if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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