Got a toothbrush?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
