i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry about my life...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
