"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so that wasnt chicken after all
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
